I am back in NJ for just over 2 weeks, trying to squeeze in as many hangouts as possible. Is this rest after the internship? Probably not, but I am trying to reconnect with everyone before I truly move across the country. It's quite the move. I have a moving strategy: Move as fast as I can out to the middle of nowhere before I can comprehend all that I really am doing and stop myself. At this point in time I am no longer trusting emotions. I have been feeling so much regarding the move that I need to trust solely on the Lord. Whether I am confused, excited, happy, ambivalent, or unmotivated I am following Jesus. He has my best interest in mind even if it means living without a place to rest my head.
Home will never be found in this lifetime. That longing deep inside all of us is the longing for a heavenly homeland. I can't stay somewhere in life just because I am trying to maintain the small sense of home I was able to find. Families change, communities grow and fade, and church bodies always seem to be in some eb and flow. I am grateful for all that God has given me in NJ. I love Harvest and had the best college years imaginable, but I can't stay to maintain any of that. Staying somewhere for comfort is sin. Not moving forward because of fear causes our hearts not to rest in God's perfect love. The Holy Spirit is my comforter in this life. I am comforted that He is the care-taker of my soul, body, and spirit. I want to be wherever He is.
As the Misty Edward song says, "I will follow the Lamb wherever He goes."
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