I'm Going to the Chapel and I'm...

When I first arrived in Kansas City I had a dream that has set the tone for the next season of my life. The message of the dream was that in order to jump into the Presence of God I needed to see things through the eyes of the bride. Welcome: Season of the Bride.

Over 6 months ago I bought a book by Gary Wiens called “Bridal Intercession.” The book discusses the importance of intimacy with Jesus in prayer and knowing Him as life’s primary goal. Despite the interesting content I had only read about 3 chapters but brought the book with me to KC so I could finally finish it. Also at about that time I downloaded a song called “My Romance” but had very rarely listened to it. Interestingly when I was packing up my apartment it was a song that I suddenly had new love for and I was playing it frequently.

When I think of romance I think of Jane Austin, especially the 6hr BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. Wonderful. But shock here: this is not Jesus’ version of romance. His love is much deeper. His love is humility. The God who is too big to fit in the heavens confined himself to a weak human body for the chance to be my friend. He wasn’t even assured that I would like him or spend time with him but he loved me and desired to be near me. He who is not confined to time put on a mortal body so I may know Him for all eternity. He who is perfect and hates sin walked around in the midst of a wicked generation to show his unfailing love to them and all the generations to follow. Perhaps the most daunting aspect of bridal love is this: that according to the Apostle John if I claim to love God I must walk as Jesus did. Choose to walk in suffering for love’s sake. Taking the lowly road even when it is not required.

“I don’t know about you, but I had sort of a romantic expectation that [Jesus] would woo me and tell me how cool and nice I am and how much He enjoys various aspects of my life… And then all of a sudden He did a very surprising thing: in my process of exploring the reality and depth of His love for me, He took me to Isaiah 52 and Isaiah 53 and began to teach me about His passion on the cross, and what the cross of Jesus has to do with His love for me as an ardent Bridegroom. “ Gary Wiens

Life in the MidWest

I would like to say that I moved out to Kansas City in faith but I think I moved out in frustration. I didn't have anything else so I came out here thinking I would probably get in but not really knowing. It wasn't until I was in the state of Missouri that I actually got the acceptance.
Now I am fully integrated into the night life here at the International House of Prayer (IHOP). That means I spend most days from 12a to 6a in the prayer room with classes and revival services in the evening hours. Doing these hours and this schedule is intense. It is a complete lifestyle change for me and I have been going through serious detox. I think I am understanding more and more what it is to lay it all down for Jesus. I sold and gave away most of what I own. My leather couch, motorcycle, bed, dresser, coffee table etc. Wow. I can't tell you how tempting it is some nights in the prayer room to just jump in my car and head back to Jersey. But I can't. This is all for the Precious Pearl. I spend a lot of time in the prayer room counting the cost. I am being more convinced that it is worth my life, my eternity to chase after this one thing. It is worth my life to sell all I have, give to the poor, and be more in love with Jesus than the day before. I am learning to run from that "other life" as Amy Carmichael describes. I am finding that instead of running to the comforts of the world I need to find comfort with the Comforter himself, the holy spirit.